Just Breathe -- This Too Shall Pass

(I actually wrote this several days ago, but forgot to publish it.)
I'm a worrier, always have been. I usually freak out over everything, no matter how tiny. My son always chastises me for it, but when he called me last, he was the one freaking out because I told him I went to Dollar General to get a few things. I know he's afraid of losing me, and that makes me feel better, but it's annoying to have him acting like he's the parent. He tends to forget that I've lived for a long time and have been through a lot worse than this. Still, when he got stuck in California, I told him to LEAVE. He didn't. He's convinced he's safe, and I'm convinced I'm safe. He wants to send me hand sanitizer he had stockpiled before things became scarce. What a good man he is. I'm so blessed to have two loving, caring sons.

I had my first anxiety attack the other day, but I was able to sit in the sun, breathe and calm down. Meditation is a great way to calm yourself when thoughts of doom and gloom overtake you. If it's warm enough where you are, and you can sit outside in the sun, it's even easier to calm yourself.

I sit all day -- well, most of it -- in front of a picture window that looks out onto my courtyard. Over the wall, I can see the spring green of the trees and hear birds singing. Occasionally, a butterfly flits through, looking for food or somewhere to lay her eggs. It's a very peaceful place. If I had to be in an office, or somewhere I couldn't go outside, I would go mad.

Every morning, I go out into my garden to have my tea. Last Christmas, my son built me a little patio area where I have a small table and two chairs. It's a wonderful place to sit and ponder on everything. I'm surrounded by what I love best -- my plants -- and birds and beasts are all around me. I had a visit recently from a very cute black racer who hung out in my pencil cactus while I piddled around the garden. We chatted (yes, I talk to snakes -- and frogs, butterflies and lizards) and he looked for all the world like he was smiling. He went away when I went inside, and I haven't seen him since. I hope he comes back.

Nature is so healing, and spring always reminds me how resilient she is. We are just as resilient.