30-Day No Social Media / TV Challenge - Day 1

Well, things didn't get started so well this morning. Had a sleepless night, so I was up until 2 a.m., then shut the 7 a.m. alarm off and actually woke up at 10:00 a.m.  My plan for the day was already changed, because I had intended to get started by 8 a.m. Go figure. Best laid plans, and all that stuff.

So I figure I'll just tell you why I feel the need to do this challenge, and what all is involved. 

COVID-19 has made me face my mortality. I'm 68 years old, with underlying conditions I won't bore you with. I'm a fatalist and a worrier, so of course, I got depressed. I kept fighting the depression, but feeling like I wasn't going to make it out of this alive just made it worse. 

Being somewhat of a loner and not at all sociable, I figured not being able to get out much and socialize wouldn't bother me. I was wrong. It isn't that I necessarily want to do things, it's that I can't. When I got bored, I used to be able to walk down to the Goodwill and look for treasures. I'd get on the bus and go do my shopping, or go downtown to the library. I'd have plant sales and plant trades and meet all sorts of neat, new gardeners. All of that was taken away from me. 

Worst of all, the one thing I looked forward to all year, having my son visit me for Christmas, was taken away. I started missing all the things that I'd lost instead of being happy for all the things I had.

Then summer hit, and due to health issues that are exacerbated by heat, I couldn't go outside except for short periods of time due to the heat. Everything which involved going outside had to be done early in the morning, leaving me forced to stay inside the rest of the day. Summer is something I suffer through, praying for October, but this year, October was even hot, so I had one less month of nice, cool weather when I could actually go outside and walk and get fresh air.

It's gotten to the point where all I have done for months is play in my garden, hang out on social media, and watch t.v. I've binged watched so many UK detective and mystery shows, that I've run out and am now watching Aussie shows! I've made small attempts at making money, but it all just seemed pointless, so I gave up. I tried to take walks, but only made it as far as the Dollar General for basic necessities or Walgreens to get my prescriptions. My friend takes me grocery shopping once every two weeks, and sometimes we stop by Lowe's and look at the plants, but we haven't even done that lately.

Then there was the election, which I got way too wrapped in, to the point that it became the main thing on my mind 24/7. I was either on Twitter or watching MSNBC for way too many hours a day. I finally quit Twitter, because all the anger and name calling and hatefulness was making things worse. Well, I didn't quit completely, I just unfollowed all of my political tweeple and found some wonderful gardening people who post beautiful pictures of flowers and birds, and threads about songs you love, which cheer me up. Strangely enough, most of them are from the UK, which is fine with me, since I'm a total anglophile. Nevertheless, I spent less time there, since I didn't have 3,000 people yelling all day about politics.

Everything in my life went to hell in a handbasket, as it is wont to do when you just don't give a damn. The other day, I looked around me at my messy house, realized I hadn't bathed for four days, or changed clothes. The only time I really change clothes is when I go out shopping. I haven't washed clothes in weeks, not that I have that many clothes, but when you never change them...you get the idea.

So today was going to be a day of setting up some work for the rest of the week, washing clothes and linens, and cleaning house. It still will be, but I may not get as far with it as I had hoped. Still, anything accomplished is better than nothing, right? So it's 12:36 pm, and I still haven't showered or had breakfast. I'd better get going.

Have a lovely day, and tune in tomorrow to see how much I actually accomplished today.